Entertainment

‘The Bachelor’ ‘Women tell all’ was a huge waste of time

I got paid to watch “The Women Tell All.” And that’s the only reason I made it through.

The special episode brought together all the women Matt James’ dumped throughout the season into one room to rehash their drama and confront him.

Instead of focusing on the dates and romance, Bachelor Nation has had to sit through weeks of petty fighting between the women. Now, we have a top three — and we barely know them, or our leading man. This week could have been used to give us more time with these people, to get us to actually emotionally invest in their journey.

But Monday night was just a continuation of this pattern. We didn’t learn anything new, we didn’t get closure on any breakups.

To make matters worse, the episode was filmed on February 4, before Chris Harrison stepped down from hosting after excusing the alleged racist behavior of finalist Rachael Kirkconnell. Let’s hope new temporary host Emmanuel Acho does a better job.

Here are the biggest takeaways from the episode.

Victoria Larson said “sorry” but didn’t apologize

Of course, Victoria wore her crown. ABC

The season’s villain — tiara and all — admitted that she was wrong for saying hurtful things to the women in the house, but questioned why they were still holding on to the pain she caused them. She also felt like the online memes and complaints about her behavior are undeserved, especially the fact that she was labeled a bully. (She did not see the irony here.) Unfortunately, she’s also getting death threats. Katie, who called Victoria out for her behavior on the show, doesn’t condone the death threats, but sees the way Victoria’s being treated as a consequence of her own actions.

Brittany can’t tell if Anna’s apology is authentic

Brittany Galvin‘s life changed forever when Anna Redman spread a rumor that she was working as a high-end escort. Brittany told Chris Harrison that she was numb for days after arriving back home from the show. Anna completely owned up to what she did, acknowledged how she hurt Brittany and tried to reconcile with her. But because Anna hadn’t reached out to Brittany to apologize in person, Brittany doesn’t know if she can trust her.

There were lots of dates we didn’t get to see

Turns out the producers have been holding out on us. We got to see some really fun and silly dates that they chose not to air on the show. The women had to eat pancakes and chug beer and play hide and seek in the woods. Kit got lost! Tayshia and JoJo came on! It was awesome. In these clips we got to see fun sides of the girls — and Matt, who has really only been displayed as a robot. This is a show I would have loved to watch. But instead, we spent three months of watching women yell at each other over BS. I guess this season did have heart and soul, we just didn’t get to see any of it.

Serena P. doesn’t regret going home

Drama!ABC

As much as she wanted to be 100% sure about her feelings about Matt, Serena also knew that Matt deserved to be with someone who was sure they wanted to be with him. Though her breakup with Matt has been tough, she doesn’t regret sending herself home.

Matt didn’t know it wasn’t ok to kiss with his eyes open

Up until watching his season, Matt didn’t know that it was “a no no” to kiss with his eyes open, he said. Lots of the women, like Pieper, were shocked when they opened their eyes during a make-out with “The Bachelor” and found him staring right back at them. Watching himself dive in eyes first over and over again on TV may have cured him — he realized it’s kind of creepy, and will (hopefully) keep his peepers shut going forward.

He was really, really into Serena P.

During one of the bloopers clips, Matt got a glimpse of Serena P.’s backside while getting out of the hottub. Matt gave her a big up and down — and got aroused. “I’m going to need a robe before I get out,” he said. It seems like next week’s overnight dates will be very spicy.