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How Hollywood is adapting to the pandemic

H’wood adapts, pushes on

Saturday afternoon before the Oscars, in a big Santa Monica beach tent, is always always the Independent Spirit Awards. Nope. This year, airing on IFC, it’s Thursday night before however whichever whatever the Oscars will look like.

More movie-type news. The James Bond thing was first to change dates last year as the pandemic was changing our lives. Now it’s again. Official. Again. It’s moving. Again. Now it’s the fall …

I got more. How’s this title grab you? “Tales of Dunk and Egg.” The title’s as nuts as the guys are out in Hollywood these days. This HBO thing is a prequel to “Game of Thrones,” which will then schlep out with a sequel and an equal …

I got more. Fancy Sundance is still happening. Virtual. Warner Media is sending links plus a swag bag. The bundle’s titled “A Salty, Sweet, Sip and Snuggle” package. It’s nibbles plus something called a Sackcloth & Ashes blanket to go with the pajamas you haven’t changed in 11 months. How this helps a lousy movie who knows …

I got more. Viola Davis will play Michelle Obama and Michelle Pfeiffer is Betty Ford in upcoming series “The First Lady.”

And Broadway’s “Matilda,” which won five Tonys and is about a young studious bookworm who spars with her headmistress, played by Emma Thompson, is getting Netflixed.

Can’t figure what to watch with all this ongoing dumbo mumbo jumbo? Hark to the wisdom of Yogi Berra, who said: “If you get to a fork in the road — take it.”

TV’s King & a good pal

Larry King. In Beverly Hills, we did breakfast daily in Nate ’n Al’s deli. In 2017, he told me “Clooney’s next to run for president.” I sat alongside when Don Rickles said: “Larry, you alone are a great couple.” One morning he spoke to Billy Graham on the cashier’s phone. Same night he interviewed Virginia Harris, of the Christian Science Church. When he had a lousy cold he said: “I have to talk to Dr. Sanjay.” He told Hillary his first major interview was Eleanor Roosevelt. On-air he asked me, “Is your male Yorkie Jazzy nicer in bed than your husband?” At dinner he wondered: “If Queen Latifah married me would she be Queen King?” Standing backstage at Clinton’s inauguration, it was, “Y’know, everyone asks me about the time Brando kissed me.” I hadn’t asked. How well did I know Larry King? There aren’t columns enough to tell.

Easing kids’ fear

Lisa Carroll — known for being Carol Channing’s “Hello, Dolly!” stand-in — just did “The Big Bad Coronavirus! And How We Can Beat It!” picture book. Smart sayings for children. Publisher: Pixel Mouse House Books … And predictions from psychic Paula Roberts: “Ireland’s borders become major smuggling route for continental foods.” Also, “Heads of state make summer monthly White House visits.”

Signs go viral

Westport and Fairfield, Conn. This weekend. Maybe 50 cars with NY plates all bore huge signs in bold black letters. A truck flying the American flag had a sign reading, “End the Chinese Communist Party.” A white four-door car’s sign said: “The Communist CCP started the virus.” Another: “China started the virus.” Who was behind it, who started it, don’t know.

First things first

Mrs. Biden’s needs: No. 1: Stylist to acquire elegant first lady wardrobe. No. 2: Trainer to learn walking — not lurching — in heels. No. 3: Hairdresser so the ’do doesn’t disintegrate. NYC, which supported the husband, did not vote for a first schloomp.

The pandemic has decimated the romantic. In one Zoom divorce hearing, the wife told the judge that she still cares about her husband. She said: “To me, he looks like a million dollars — all green and wrinkled.”

Only in New York, kids, only in New York.

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